tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
