So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize