Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
