Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I have fence marks all over my body
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
