You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
