There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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