Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
