3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
