I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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