i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
