so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
