Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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