Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize