i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
