How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
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