how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
