No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
She's the barista slut.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize