2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
