They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
How naked do you want me to be?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
