Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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