Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
