found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
So vagazzling was a success
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
