so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
splinters make it hard to masturbate
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
