i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
