You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Randomize
