im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
