lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
