K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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