I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
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