Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
