My friends, they love my intelligence
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
