it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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