Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
you made out with another girl for some wings
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
