He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
