I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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