I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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