Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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