problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Then you guys just all showered together...?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
