you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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