She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize