just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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