ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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