Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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