We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Can I color on your dick again?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
