Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I just want nice things and good sex
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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