if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
