Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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