This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize