I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
