Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Randomize
