yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
