last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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