My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You're a waste of cheezeits
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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