hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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