Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
