Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
